remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
