the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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