What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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