your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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