'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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