Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i permit you to call me
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
