im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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