The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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