If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
