if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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