paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
