hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
