if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
