where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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