3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
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