You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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