eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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