So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
