I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize