Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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