I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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