But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
ok first of all what the fuck
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
