i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize