I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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