All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
