when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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