I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Dignity is for republicans.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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