I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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