I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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