Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will pee on everything he values.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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