I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
