Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
