Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I enjoy the company of your penis
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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