A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
