He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
