it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
