I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
