Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
not ubering you a puppy
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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