you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
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just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
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The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize