You can't special order awesome
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
