have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
