dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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