This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
