...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
