He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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