I just threw up on my dentist
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
