playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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