i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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