she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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