I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
