I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
