How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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