you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
