And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize