Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Pants are for mortals
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