I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Everyone says I win the strip club
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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