You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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