So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
