I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
