you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
