grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
