This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
