Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.

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(734): View more from Michigan

SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(708): View more from Illinois

I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza

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(727): View more from Florida

there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home

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(419): View more from Ohio

I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.

(516): View more from New York

Welcome to my everyday.

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