I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED