I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
Hahaha April fools!
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick