I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina