We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend