Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
being pregnant is like rehab
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
