It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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