summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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