i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
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