Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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