I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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